Looking back at my childhood, I recall that I had 3 dolls (action figures, dammit) that I played with regularly.
1) GI Joe – Every kid my age had one. No surprise there.
2) Chief Cherokee – From the Johnny West collection, he had a ton of accessories and could routinely kick Joe’s ass. FWIW, his indian clothes were part of his plastic body. You couldn’t strip him down.
3) Ilya Kuryakin – Huh? He was the Soviet dude from the TV show “The Man From UNCLE”. WTF?
This raises a few questions:
– What kind of twisted kid asks for an Ilya Kuryakin doll (action figure, dammit)? I don’t ever remember watching the show.
– What kind of twisted parent would buy their child an Ilya Kuryakin doll (action figure, dammit) if he never asked for one?
– What kind of fucked-up adventures can a Soviet agent, an All-American Hero and an Indian warrior have? It’s kind of a weird combination, but hey, I was a weird kid.
– Where the hell are my dolls (action figures, dammit) now? They are worth some money!! I have a hunch that my parents had a massive yard sale of all my kid stuff when I wasn’t looking. Either that or they threw it all out. I don’t even wanna imagine that possibility. I’ve asked them. They don’t remember.
Yeah, right.
They probably went to the same place my action figures (dolls, dammit) did.
(Don’t ask me where that is. I have no idea, otherwise I’d tell you. But they’re off having a party somewhere, I’m sure of it. One of my Barbie dolls is probably hooking up with Ilya Kuryakin as we speak… they dig men with accents.)